SO, you think you want to be famous?

For all of the entitled writer's, this one is for you. Everyone else: you may enjoy this as well.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9fc-crEFDw&feature=player_embedded

How to be a kid at 30

I have been giving a lot of thought to my childhood lately, or maybe it is more the adult me. As thirty approaches I am starting to feel like the kid in me is gone. And then something crazy happened. A storm. It hit our house ripping into our roof, smashing through our windows and knocking down all of the wooden walls in our backyard.  So I did the adult thing and went to work and called all of the insurance companies and even received a claim number. Adulthood, I have arrived.

And then I came home. All of the kids were enjoying the newly adjusted giant backyard. (That is what happens when eight fences go down, you have one giant backyard!) I watched the kids run and climb, after removing all of the nails.  They were screaming in glee and jumping over crushed brick. The disaster looked beautiful. Light was even shinning through the broken glass.

If an adult’s disaster is a child’s playground then maybe I am not all grown up just yet. I found beauty in the ruble and it hasn’t been as big of a headache as I had anticipated. Honestly I am more relived that everyone is OK and we have a roof over our head still, a damaged roof but a roof non the less.

So maybe being an adult won’t be so bad, maybe I haven’t been consumed with adult skepticism just yet. Maybe age isn’t so much just a number but more of a state of mind. And my mind isn’t quite ready to be an adult yet just my number.  

Things I know: The Perfect Wife, don't try this at home!

The following article can also be found at http://blog.womenexplode.com/page/3.aspx

Woman Explode is a blog that I am currently guest blogging for. :) 

The perfect wife, what a romantic idea! So what is the perfect wife? June Clever in her pearls? Megan Fox with the body that doesn’t stop? Where does that leave the rest of us? Seven years ago I knew exactly what it took to be the perfect wife. I mean… I’ve seen a lot of romantic comedies so I know what men want. But just to be safe I asked a few.

I heard attractive, no surprise there, I mean even June Clever hid a tight tummy under that housedress I am sure. Loyal was another big one, check. Tolerance, forgiving and smart, ok so this may be a bit of work. So shortly after my nuptials I joined a gym, enrolled in a Masters program and went to work on my tolerance.   

Some of the attributes were “gimmies,” such as don’t name call and avoid screaming. Jealousy is a big no-no and “revenge does not a good marriage make.” I know that sex needs to be about the both of us, it should be a priority and most importantly it is not a me vs. him scenario. We are a team. OK check, I am ready for marriage and to be The Perfect Wife.

Boy was I in for a shock when I realized that my idea of how to be a wife would become one of my biggest marital headaches. When there came a time when he became frustrated with me I was heartbroken. “Wait, you’re angry but I tried so hard, what about all of my effort? Are you trying as hard as I am?” And there in lies the crack in the foundation of my theory. Now I am comparing my behavior to his. I have no control over him. The only person in this crazy world that I have any control over is myself. So now all of those things I did to make him happy have simply become a bar in which he must rise to meet. 

So I began to question my motives, do I want to be the perfect wife because I love my husband or because I am a perfectionist and must be successful at everything? Does the motive matter? I decided that it was probably a bit of both and made peace with the decision in my own head. Why try something half-assed? That is certainly not in my nature.

Sure my husband and I still fight but the important thing to remember is that we are in this for the long haul and little battles are bound to occur. Maybe the quest for being The Perfect Wife is more of a quest of trying to become the person that I want to be, a wife simply being a piece of that pie.

As far as a marriage goes, or any relationship, the best note that I can think to end on is not even my own but that of the artist John Legend. “And though love sometimes hurts, I still put you first, and we’ll make things work.” 

What I know: Friendship

We all go through hurtles in our lifetime and if we are lucky then we have friends who can stand by us through these hurtles. What I would like to propose is that good friends, even best friends, are hard to come by. They are somewhat like romantic relationships.  How can I make such a claim? Well those friends that we cannot live without are not just anybody, there has to be chemistry there. Are you following me? Ever tried to force a friendship? Then you know what I am talking about. Some people were just meant to be in our lives.

Anyhow this is an ode to those friends, the ones that have you laughing every time they enter your presence. These friends are more then just a good time they are a true blessing in our lives. They make bad times bearable, give great advice and if you are lucky they help to keep you in shape.

So what else do I know about friends, I know that staying in touch with them is rarely a bad idea and that every once in a while you just may find a friend that makes the worst times not so bad and the best times even better.  

Things I Know: Short Stories

Part two of my web series short story

                                    Part Two: The Cell Phone

            Her smile faded quickly which had me jump for the phone. Literally, I hopped like the damn Easter Bunny. “Honey, give me the phone.” I reached out for it but she sat there with the phone to her ear and a confused look on her face.  “Reagan-”

“It’s not daddy, but.” She stopped talking. Looking a bit possessed she continued to ignore me.

“Reagan, give me the damn phone.” Not language I usually chose while communicating with my eleven year old but my heart had starting hopping around in my chest like my feet had already chosen to do. She handed me the phone and looked towards me for answers. She didn’t seem to notice that I had just cursed at her.

“It said it was Daddy.”

“Hello?” I gasped into the small cell phone, we didn’t even own a landline anymore.

“Hi, um, I found this phone and I saw wife as a number in it so I called so you could come get it.”

“You found the phone? Damn Charlie must have left it. Thank you so much, it’s so sweet of you. Where did you find it?” Jesus himself could not have prepared me for the answer that I was about to be given. I expected to hear ‘on a barstool’ or ‘in the men’s room,’ I would have even been able to stomach a strip club or something but not what the stranger at the other end was about to tell me.

“Well, it’s the darnest thing see, I just got off the bus stop from the college in Denton, you know the big one not the Lesbian one, and I was walking home and almost walked straight into this car.”

“Walked into the car, what car?”

“Well I don’t know, a car. A blue Nissan Altima is what it says but it was stopped on the sidewalk and I walk with my head down so I almost walked right into the darn thing.” I took a deep breath. My head was getting fuzzy and my stomach dropped. Blue Nissan Altima, damn that’s Charlie’s car all right. Did he get drunk and drive off the road? Was he in the hospital or worse? 

“Well the car was running but it was in park so I turned it off and there was this phone in the front seat so I picked it up and it wasn’t password locked or anything. So trusting. It really should have had a pass code thingy but I suppose in this case it was good that it didn’t. But not everyone’s as honest as me, you know.”

I wasn’t even listening to him anymore. The car was running and the phone was on the seat. The car was pulled up onto the sidewalk, is that what he had said?

“Where are you exactly?” Was all that I could think to say. One step at a time Abigail, one step at a time, I always talk to myself when I panic. Reagan, she was watching me and interpreting what I had been saying, what had I been saying, I couldn’t remember.  Oh my God, what is happening?

Things I know: Lists'

It's a new year and I know that many of you out there just view this as another day but why go through life with that attitude? I have my list of improvements, also known as my New Year's resolutions. My goal with my resolutions is to make them plausible, something I could actually pull of over an extended period of time.

1.       Be more disciplined about writing  

2.       Watch less TV

3.       Stay disciplined with working out at least 2x a week

4.       Meditate at least once a week

5.       Learn basic French

       Right of the bat I can see that it would be easy to sneak out of number 5 on the account of time. I don't  need to know the whole language this year but I would like to know Conversational French. It is on my Bucket List. Yes, I have one of those but in my defense I've had one since I was 12. 

       Top 5 from the bucket list (Not in any particular order):  

       1. Publish a novel

       2. Learn French

       3. Learn how to play the piano

       4. Stand on the Eiffel Tower and go to New York City

       5. Own a book personally signed by Stephen King  

      I combined two because I have already completed both listed for number 4, go me! Another thing that can be found on my Bucket List that I have completed, get married. Yeah it sounds girlie and stereotypical but nevertheless it is on there and I am married. So, success! (Not just any marriage would qualify, it had to be genuine and it was and it is)


      Let's see, any other lists for the new year...... ahh top 5 books that YOU should read this year.

         1. Full Dark No Stars by: Stephen King. They are short stories but amazing.

         2. Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger. If you haven't read it, do, Salinger master's the stream of                consciousness style.  

          3. Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodrin. You don't have to be a Buddhist to find peace with her outlook.

         4. Widow for a Year by John Irving. This book's dark humor will have you looking up more books to read by Irving.

         5. Catch 22 by Joseph Heller. This book is irony and sarcasm at its best! 

      If you fancy yourself a writer then I am assuming that you have read On Writing by Stephan King, if not do so immediately. It is not just us King fanatics that recommend it, everyone does. 

      

       Have a great New Year everyone and here is to making those resolutions happen for than a month! :)